By Larissa Page
Content warnings: Suicidal ideation
By one of Canada’s top authors—and one of my favourites—Miriam Toews’ All My Puny Sorrows is about two sisters, Yolanda and Elfreida; one trying desperately to die and the other trying to keep her sister alive while also supporting her. Raised in a Mennonite community, having lost their father to suicide a few years earlier, this story is a reflection on their lives as children, as sisters, and their present-day struggle to survive Elf’s depression and desire to end her suffering and Yoli’s response to that along with the changes in her own life—like her recently ended marriage and her children.
Having read several Toews’ books in the past, I was comforted by her unique and familiar writing style. Always a little quirky, slightly scattered and written with some humour and hope, even when the subject matter is incredibly tough. The themes of suicide and depression in this novel are intense, serious, and so real. A major focus is put on a serious mental illness as well as its impacts on the people who love and have relationships with the person and how they live with the knowledge that someone they love so much does not want to continue living.
I really enjoyed the characters in this book. Toews is a master of creating incredible, lovable, damaged, resilient characters dealing with ordinary and extraordinary circumstances. Yolandi’s internal dialogue in dealing with her sister and the changes and choices happening in her own life is relatable and real. Elf is written as such a strong and impactful character, stubborn, fighting for what she wants even when what she wants (to die) would often result in our society labelling her as someone who isn’t strong. These women are multifaceted and I feel like this novel gives us so much, yet not all, of them.
I can see this novel being incredibly triggering for anyone living with depression or suicidal ideation or anyone loving someone experiencing this. While it sheds some light on the struggles (and is incredibly impactful in bringing up a different side of the conversation) it may not be a novel for everyone. It is important for sure but take care when choosing to read it.
All My Puny Sorrows is coming to the big screen this year which is what prompted me to read it now. It was heavy and not one I would consider a quick read—I would even say I struggled a little because it expected so much of my heart and my brain. I feel it was worth my time, though, an important dialogue on mental illness, relationships surrounding it, an impactful look at sister relationships, and familiar love. I still look forward to watching the movie, even if it means my heart breaks all over again.