By Melissa Khan
Content Warnings: Drug use, Alcoholism, Depression, Addiction
If you’re a fan of messy protagonists, then Jane from Once More, With Feeling by Sophie McCreesh is the one for you. We follow Jane as she muddles through her days, hardly able to perform basic tasks like her job or staying sober. Jane’s struggle with adulthood stem from her murky childhood, which we see through a cloudy lens—little moments interspersed throughout the novel.
There is no true plot or clear motivation to the story, which can become frustrating for the reader as we wait for our main character to do something. There are long stretches of prose, full of sardonic humour, that both boast Jane’s artistic capabilities and highlight her inability to make anything of them. The absence of a storyline perfectly describes the lack of motivation found within Jane and shows just how wayward her life seems to be. She’s a girl lost in her own loneliness, which endears her to the reader.
Spending her days under the influence of alcohol and various drugs is something I, as a reader, struggled with seeing. Her substance abuse was made more tragic by the people in her life enabling her to do so. There was the obvious manipulation by Richard, her older boyfriend, who often used Jane’s impaired judgement to his advantage. Jane’s dependence on her closest friend, Kitty, was also often exploited. She was always ready to encourage Jane’s destructive behaviours when it led to a good time but disappeared during her times of need.
Jane’s relationship with her friend Anna, a discredited therapist she met as a child, was the one I was most invested in and shocked by. The unfolding of their dynamic was made so slowly and carefully that, by the end, the reader is confronted by the significant role Anna plays in influencing Jane’s actions, as well as who Anna is as a person.
Although the narrative is sporadic at best, the story really hit its peak during Jane and Kitty’s trip to London. There, Jane begins a spiral that is hard to recover from and it’s where readers begin to feel the true weight of what Jane is struggling with. It’s not just the gritty relatability of being young and confused, but it’s a powerful loneliness she can’t escape from.
Wild and reckless as our main character, confusing and intoxicating as the prose, this story will resonate with readers of all kinds. There’s something so unique about this story that it will have you rooting for Jane against all odds.
Thank you, Penguin Random House Canada, for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review.