By Erica Wiggins
Content warning: miscarriage, infertility, abuse
I received this book in a book box and I will be honest, it’s not something that I would have picked up on my own. I am not a parent and have never wanted to be a parent. This is often a topic of conversation, and it can be a controversial decision for some. I have never thought about the other side of this—the desperation that wanting a child and not being able to have one can cause. When I received this book, I thought, why not take a chance? And I am so glad that I did. Warning to those reading this review: while I enjoyed this book immensely, it could be triggering for some (see above).
Other People’s Children is the debut novel from R.J. Hoffmann. It is a heartbreaking exploration of the paths that women take towards motherhood. This story lured me in with the first chapter, introducing us to Gail and Jon. This couple desperately wants a child. They have miscarried multiple times and have decided that adoption is the next option. We meet them at the first birthday party for a friend’s child. I could feel Gail’s frustration and hurt in a visceral way as she watches healthy children and their parents move around the party.
The story goes on from there to follow them on their adoption journey. Each chapter switches between the perspectives of Gail, Jon, Carli (the birth mom), Marla (Carli’s mom) and Paige (the adoption agent), and the further you get into the story, the more it tugs on your heart strings. We meet Carli who has had a rough childhood with little to no support from her mom. She experiences physical and verbal abuse. She dreams of becoming a nurse and is not ready to be a mother. Marla, her mom, has different plans for her daughter’s unborn child. Keeping this child becomes an obsession, as she was an awful parent to her own children. She believes she can do it right this time, with her grandchild. Paige is the sweet adoption agent who just wants to make everyone happy. It becomes difficult to take anyone’s side, as the author delves into each perspective with surprising detail and thoughtful consideration to the role that each person plays in the adoption process.
The author made me think about how far I would go to have a child and then made me realize that as an average, middle class white woman, I have that choice. It gave me a glimpse into how motherhood and pregnancy is viewed in different socioeconomic classes. I felt happiness, grief, sadness, frustration and despair. We peek into the life of an adoption agent and the work that they do—and how hard that job really is. I read this book over two days; it is one you will not want to put down.
Thoughtfully and tactfully written, this story will stay with you long after its finish. It will leave you questioning yourself about pregnancy, motherhood, adoption and more. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking to dive into the world of motherhood—however that happens—and open to see how their perspective shifts.