By Kaylie Seed
Sincerely, Your Autistic Child is a series of 30 vignettes written by autistic people specifically for parents of children on the autism spectrum. This was a book that hit close to home for me. As an autistic person, I resonated with each and every one of these stories and felt so honoured to be able to read these words.
Before I speak about the book, I want to clarify that using identity-first language (i.e. “autistic person”) is totally okay! Oftentimes people want to use person-first language (i.e. “person with autism”) because they think they are being polite, however many autistic people prefer identity-first language and it can be seen as ableist to use person-first language to some autistic people. Always check with the individual to see how they would prefer to be seen; each person is unique, and so is the way that they choose to be identified.
Sincerely, Your Autistic Child has amazing individual accounts but there were a couple of ever-present themes that popped up all throughout the book. Autistic people want to be accepted, they want to be loved, and they want others to see them for who they are, not a project to be fixed. Every single one of the authors in this book was telling parents to accept their children, their stims (self-stimulatory behaviours), their quirks, their identity. There is no need to try to change the person they are, and there is no need to search for a “cure.” Autistic people may think and see the world differently, but we have so much to offer if people would take the time to step out of their boxes and step into our triangles.
While this feels more like a diary entry than a review, I think this is a way for me to reflect on my own autistic journey through the words of those people who are everything and nothing like me. If you’ve met an autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. Just like everyone else in the world, we are unique, and while we share a diagnosis, we are nothing alike. If you are lucky enough to have an autistic person in your life I hope that you take the time to get to know them and get to know their autism, because it is part of who they are and not anything they should be ashamed of. Being autistic just means I have the chance to experience the world differently.
For more information regarding identify-first language, please read: https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/identity-first-language/
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for the complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review!