By Christine McFaul
Content warning: abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual, domestic, and child abuse), alcohol and drug misuse, bullying, death, car accident, psychiatric restraint, police interaction, self-harm, suicide/suicidal ideation, trauma
So-Called Normal is an unflinching memoir of “family, depression and resilience,” written by Canadian Mark Henick. Henick’s many accolades include having served as the youngest president of a provincial Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) division, interviewing professionals and celebrities on the topic of mental health, and international speaking engagements. But he is perhaps most recognizable from a powerful TEDx talk he delivered on the topic of suicide. One of the most watched TEDx talks ever, Henick used his own experiences with mental health. In his words, he wanted to: “expose people to a different way of thinking about suicide. I wanted to do it not as an expert, because I wasn’t, but from the perspective of my lived experience of recovery.”
Expanding on that TEDx talk, Henick’s memoir begins at the end.
This is the end. Henick is sure of that. Or at least, he thinks he’s sure. The book opens with a younger Henick on the edge of an overpass, planning to end his life while an empathetic stranger calmly speaks with him, trying to convince him otherwise.
The narrative then backtracks to Henick’s tumultuous childhood in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. We meet the colourful members of Henick’s “devout Catholic family” and learn about his small hometown, once booming due to the steel plant and support industries. By the time Henick is born, that former glory is gone, and so too the “work and wages.” Set against this gritty backdrop, Henick speaks bravely, candidly, and with the benefit of hindsight, about his failing mental health and the events that led him to that fateful evening on the bridge.
And though Henick does jump from the overpass, the stranger catches him. Both Henick and the book are then able to move forward to reveal an equally gritty, realistic, but ultimately hope-filled look at recovery. Summarized pragmatically and beautifully with Henick’s observation that over time, he “learned to struggle well.”
In detailing his lived experience, Henick’s memoir also provides an illuminating account of the Canadian systems set up to support mental health—resources in schools, hospitals, children’s hospitals, outpatient programs, and more—all from the rarely heard perspective of the patient.
His voice ranges from the clinical: “I felt objectified because I was—I was a problem, a risk, an illness to be treated” to the heartbreaking: “Procedure sometimes leads to collateral damage, mundane trauma—an unintended consequence of following the rules.”
All of his experiences are leading to the conclusion that there is still much work to be done to eliminate the stigma and biases regarding mental health that permeate our health system.
Henick’s insights and challenges within the health care system drove him to seek an education in that field and to get actively involved in changing the experience for future generations. He continues to speak and write openly on the subject as a passionate advocate for change.
So-Called Normal contains complicated, no-holds barred material. Henick’s family as well as himself are portrayed as beautifully human. Both their flaws and redeeming qualities are unraveled in an intimate, brave, pragmatic, and ultimately very real narrative that leads the reader up to and through the moment on the overpass and down the road of recovery. This is an invaluable story for anyone who lives with mental illness or loves someone who does.
NOTE: Before his text begins, Henick included an author’s note which I found particularly empathetic, and which I summarize here for anyone who is thinking about reading this book:
“This story is my truth. Don’t take that to mean that it’s anyone else’s truth…part of this journey for me is about learning and respecting people’s limits…Discomfort is a healthy, even necessary, part of growth…but if you find yourself passing from discomfort into distress, put the book down. Engage, or discover, your self-care and coping routines, and reach out for help. Do not struggle in silence.”
Thank you to HarperCollins for the complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.