By Erica Wiggins
Content warning: Inherently this book is about trauma. Various topics are discussed with real-life examples included. Ensure you use caution when reading.
The Myth of Normal is the first book from Dr. Gabor Maté in over ten years. It explores causes of illness, the myths around what makes us sick, how dangerous our understanding of “normal” is, and how we can move towards health and healing. Maté is a bestselling author, renowned speaker, and sought-after expert. His books have changed how addiction, stress, trauma, parenting, and ADHD are thought about and helped to shift the conversation around these topics.
“In the most health-obsessed society ever, all is not well.”
Maté gets right into it, drawing you in with surprising statistics from around the globe and right here at home in Canada. It is fascinating. Through each chapter, we are given not only the facts but also real-life stories that help us to connect to these facts. Maté writes in an eye-opening, relatable, and accessible way. One of the topics covered is pregnancy, labour and delivery, and c-sections. I have never had children, but this opened my eyes to all the questions and concerns that surround this event. I found it incredibly informative.
“Trauma, until we work it through, keeps us stuck in the past, robbing us of the present moment’s riches, limiting who we can be.”
Maté discusses how women traditionally are taught to stifle their feelings, to hide how they are really feeling, to be quiet and well-behaved. While I know I have personally felt like this at times in my life, it felt like my feelings were validated. This is a societal norm that needs to be changed. I found myself nodding and reading out facts to those around me, compelled to share what I was learning.
“What joys have you denied yourself out of a belief that you don’t deserve them, or out of a conditioned fear that they’ll be snatched away.”
There are so many quotes that I want to pull from this book. This one made me stop, set the book down and really think about what this means. How true this is in my daily life and how my own thinking needs to be changed. Maté includes a self-inquiry exercise which gives you questions to ask yourself weekly. These chapters resonated with me and almost felt like the questions were directed to me personally. I loved that he spoke about what is happening, moved through the stages, and provided solutions.
This book is informative, highly researched, and thought-provoking. Maté leads us through nature, human development, culture, and how we can become whole. It is an intensive read, and I would recommend a pen and paper handy to make notes. While not everything was for me, I believe there can be something valuable for everyone in this book and it is one that I will return to. There are great exercises that helped me change and reframe my thinking. The standout for me—the vulnerability of the author. Throughout the book, he discusses his own trauma and reactions. It is helpful to know that this expert is still working to become whole and can fall into the same traps as anyone else. It helps to normalize trauma and its effects.
I would highly recommend that you read this book—taking care of yourself in doing so.
Thank you, Penguin Random House Canada, for the complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.