By Larissa Page
Content warnings: drug use/abuse, domestic violence, late miscarriage/fetal death, child neglect
St. John’s is experiencing the storm of the century. And as it’s buried almost completely in snow, Jules’ son Xavier fights for his life after being stabbed at a party. Having received the call while in Mexico and having to rush home, Jules gets the only seat left, leaving her husband Joe to find another flight while she deals with the hospital, Xavier’s struggle to fight infection, and the snowstorm alone. This Is How We Love takes us back through instances in the lives of Jules, of Xavier, of Trinity, and briefly of a few other characters, all of which, in some way or another, lead to the events of the present day.
I really loved this book. And it surprised me as well as it is not simply a story of a mother’s love for her son as he fights for his life. Within the story and the reflections throughout, there are countless examples of love, whether familial, romantic, friendship, etc. There is heavy emphasis on parental love being possible and vital without blood relation, in terms of stepparents, foster parents, and also accepting, loving, and caring for the kid across the street who needs that love. There is also love between childhood friends who become like family even when you don’t want them to be—wishing you didn’t have the connection that is there regardless; the love that is there even if you resent it.
This book is based on relationships. As each of the characters develop throughout the story, we are shown their development in relation to the other characters in the book. Jules develops in relation to her son and her mother-in-law Florence in most cases. Xavier develops in relation to his mother, Trinity, and his girlfriend Violet, and Trinity develops in terms of Mary, her mother, and Murph. The ways in which they interact, feel about, and act with love for each other are how we are shown their character development. I don’t know if I’ve experienced a book quite like this before.
The timeline of this story is mostly reflective. It is not linear with the present day being post stabbing and during the snowstorm, but much of the story is told from various points in the past. If you are a reader that prefers a linear story, consider that before picking this one up. It is worth it, but awareness of the storyline moving back and forth in time, including in the middle of a section happening in the present as the character reminisces or remembers, will assist in the reading experience.
The most important thing about this novel is the dialogue on love; how we don’t necessarily get to choose who we love or how we love, how love can develop, and how it can absolutely tie us together for life. The text and writing are beautiful, creating interactions that feel real and true. I feel more reflective on my own life and my own relationships for having read this.
Please note that this title goes on sale May 3, 2022! Thank you, House of Anansi, for the complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.