By Christa Sampson
I love a good memoir, and I was intrigued by this one from the beginning because of the title. In this book, author Margot Fedoruk weaves the tale of her difficult upbringing with her life spent dedicated to a man whose heart is forever indebted to the sea—something that she initially loved about him, but also something that became the bane of her existence as she navigated motherhood.
Although she has lived on the west coast of Canada for most of her adult life, Margot was born and raised in Winnipeg, MB. Her parents divorced when she was very young, which led to a turbulent childhood trying to avoid her mother’s subsequent and equally deplorable partners. There was one stepfather figure that treated Margot and her sister well, but unfortunately that wasn’t the one that lasted the longest. She did, however, find solace in the homes of her grandparents, especially her grandmothers, both of whom she affectionately called “Baba,” per Ukrainian custom.
As life at home became more toxic and heartbreaking, Fedoruk decided to remove herself from everything she’d ever known and move a considerable distance away. In one sense she reinvented herself, but on the other, her new experiences kept building on the strong character she always seems to have had. The relationship with her biological father was sporadic and strained at best, but she reconnected with him later in adulthood and was able to reconcile what happened in the past. Margot also maintained a very close and strong relationship with her younger sister to whom she was a surrogate mother basically from the time she was born.
While working as a tree planter in British Columbia, Fedoruk met Rick, who would eventually become her life partner. While there weren’t immediate romantic sparks, she describes being drawn to him in the same way he’s drawn to the sea. Although this is an extreme story of how to navigate a long-term, long distance relationship, this memoir really highlights the fact that every couple faces struggles. Some struggles may be difficult and some not so much, but at the end of the day, making it work one way or another is about making choices and acceptance.
I do like Fedoruk’s writing style. She has a unique way of bringing a topic into the narrative and weaving it back to something in her past. However, at the end of the book, I was a little disappointed. It left me feeling a bit wanting, and I felt like the story wrapped up too quickly. The ending didn’t reconcile the main points of the book for me, which is something I need as a reader to feel “complete” when finishing a book. Overall, I would still recommend this book, especially for the unique recipes at the end of every chapter. The recipes sound delicious, although I haven’t tried any yet, and for those who are into making things, Fedoruk even includes a recipe for natural soap, the product of her main entrepreneurial venture.
Thank you to Heritage House for the complimentary copy of Cooking Tips for Desperate Fishwives in exchange for an honest review!