Book Review: Cooking Tips for Desperate Fishwives by Margot Fedoruk

By Christa Sampson

I love a good memoir, and I was intrigued by this one from the beginning because of the title. In this book, author Margot Fedoruk weaves the tale of her difficult upbringing with her life spent dedicated to a man whose heart is forever indebted to the sea—something that she initially loved about him, but also something that became the bane of her existence as she navigated motherhood.

Although she has lived on the west coast of Canada for most of her adult life, Margot was born and raised in Winnipeg, MB. Her parents divorced when she was very young, which led to a turbulent childhood trying to avoid her mother’s subsequent and equally deplorable partners. There was one stepfather figure that treated Margot and her sister well, but unfortunately that wasn’t the one that lasted the longest. She did, however, find solace in the homes of her grandparents, especially her grandmothers, both of whom she affectionately called “Baba,” per Ukrainian custom.  

As life at home became more toxic and heartbreaking, Fedoruk decided to remove herself from everything she’d ever known and move a considerable distance away. In one sense she reinvented herself, but on the other, her new experiences kept building on the strong character she always seems to have had. The relationship with her biological father was sporadic and strained at best, but she reconnected with him later in adulthood and was able to reconcile what happened in the past. Margot also maintained a very close and strong relationship with her younger sister to whom she was a surrogate mother basically from the time she was born.

While working as a tree planter in British Columbia, Fedoruk met Rick, who would eventually become her life partner. While there weren’t immediate romantic sparks, she describes being drawn to him in the same way he’s drawn to the sea. Although this is an extreme story of how to navigate a long-term, long distance relationship, this memoir really highlights the fact that every couple faces struggles. Some struggles may be difficult and some not so much, but at the end of the day, making it work one way or another is about making choices and acceptance.

I do like Fedoruk’s writing style. She has a unique way of bringing a topic into the narrative and weaving it back to something in her past. However, at the end of the book, I was a little disappointed. It left me feeling a bit wanting, and I felt like the story wrapped up too quickly. The ending didn’t reconcile the main points of the book for me, which is something I need as a reader to feel “complete” when finishing a book. Overall, I would still recommend this book, especially for the unique recipes at the end of every chapter. The recipes sound delicious, although I haven’t tried any yet, and for those who are into making things, Fedoruk even includes a recipe for natural soap, the product of her main entrepreneurial venture.

Thank you to Heritage House for the complimentary copy of Cooking Tips for Desperate Fishwives in exchange for an honest review!

Book Review: Welcome to the Jungle by Anneliese Lawton

By Christa Sampson

Welcome to the Jungle is one woman’s memoir of losing and then finding herself in motherhood, but it really speaks to many mother’s stories in these times and how modern living forces us to recalculate, recalibrate, and eventually remove ourselves from how society thinks we should mother. Described as “A frantic journey through motherhood and self-discovery,” this books takes the reader through all the life events that shaped the author into the person and mother she is today, and all the things she realized that she needed to let go of in order to be the best version of herself and the best mother for her family. That said, there is no “best” way, there are several, because each family and each child is uniquely different and the life events that shape you on your journey are not the same for everyone. That is, essentially, the premise of this book: it’s more of a “here is my story—this is what went down and what’s worked (or not) for me” than an “if you do what I did, you will be successful too” kind of narrative, and that is very refreshing.

I personally identified with a lot of what Anneliese talks about in her book. I, too, found myself lost in motherhood and I didn’t really find my way back to myself until about a year ago (my kids are 13 and 11). Yes, motherhood can really put you through the ringer because just when you think you’ve figured it out, something else will come up and it will call into question everything you thought you knew.

I’ve followed Anneliese, or Annie as she’s often known, on her social channels for a few years, so I was thrilled to hear that she was putting all of her stories into a book. Many of her blog posts on pregnancy and motherhood have been shared widely and one in particular on maternal mental health and postpartum care went viral. She is a true advocate in the mental health space and through a transparent account of her own lived experience with anxiety and postpartum depression, she aims to break down the stigma that still exists and the barriers to proper care a lot of people face.

In this real, nothing-is-off-limits memoir, Lawton calls bullshit (yes, she swears in the book, so if you’re not a fan of four-letter words like one online reviewer I came across, this book is probably not for you), on everything from society’s expectations, the stuff no one tells you about before baby arrives, and also what to expect after. There are of course those popular instructional “what to expect” books that were made into a movie, but they are not a nuanced account of the realities like this book is. If you want the real dirt on what it means to mother, this is it. No glossing over, no bullshit.

Welcome to the Jungle is organized into chapters but reads like a collection of essays. All are related in some way, but each one has its own arc and overriding lesson or anecdote. Some of the stories date back to Lawton’s formative years. One could argue that as a child you’re not even close to the person you’ll be when you start a family; however, when you start a family, you’re nowhere near the person you’ll become after going through the hard times, the highs, the lows, the OMFG can-this-day-get-any-worse type stuff. Every experience shapes us. Looking back on where you came from is a prompt for “where do I go from here.”

Lawton’s writing style is very conversational and pulls the reader in. She’s relatable. She doesn’t make excuses or try to cater to anyone specifically. It’s very “this is me, take it or leave it,” and I appreciate that. The mom space, whether it’s online, out in public, or within the comfort of your own home, is hard. Full stop. Sometimes all you need to get through the hard is knowing that there are others out there who see things for what they are—the beautiful messiness of it all—and provide support by sharing their experience rather than imposing a “fix.” Through this book and her online content, Anneliese Lawton does exactly that, and I’m here for it. 10/10 recommend.

Thank you to Pandamonium Publishing for the complimentary copy of Welcome to the Jungle in exchange for an honest review!

Book Review: One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle

By Christa Sampson

Rebecca Serle is an author of novels for both adults and young adults. One Italian Summer is her seventh book. This adult novel explores a close relationship between mother and daughter and a bond that lasts even after death. Main character Katy is devastated by the passing of her mother Carol. Attempting to deal with her grief, Katy takes a trip to Positano, Italy, on the Amalfi Coast, a trip that she and her mother were supposed to take together. On one hand, she can’t bear to even think about going, but Positano is a place that her mother remembered so fondly and wanted to share with Katy, and ultimately, she feels that she has no choice but to go. 

The novel begins with a grief-stricken Katy trying to reconcile how to live her life without her mother. She is overcome with emotion yet numb at the same time. Everything feels wrong, including her marriage to her college sweetheart. She is staying at her childhood home, surrounded by everything that was her mother. Katy watches her father fumbling through his own emotions, while she can’t even begin to scratch the surface on hers. Instead of addressing the pain that she’s feeling, Katy puts an emotional wall up between herself and her husband, but he remains supportive and encourages her to go on the trip to Italy. 

This novel is unique from the perspective that it is a love story, but not in the romantic sense. It is a story of the love between parent and child and how one learns to go on after the other is no longer there. I appreciate the exploration of this type of love story; however, the way in which it was presented in this novel wasn’t compatible with my expectations. Being a daughter and a mother myself, I can relate to the strong love and bond that exists between parent and child, yet I found that the relationship between main character Katy and her recently deceased mother was an extremely dependent one. As the story unfolded, I found myself feeling sorry for twenty-something Katy’s debilitating dependency on her mother, rather than heartbroken for her loss.  She seemed to come into her own a little bit during her trip to Positano and even had a casual fling with a fellow traveler despite being married. The reader isn’t provided with much prompting to root for the reconciliation of Katy and her husband, and while there is a fair bit of tension between her and the new love interest, when they finally give into their lust it made me cringe instead of swoon.

Furthermore, I felt that the book read a little differently after this point. The “f” word shows up twice towards the end of the book and while I’m always supportive of a well-placed curse word, it didn’t seem to land right. I felt that because the characters didn’t previously express themselves in that way, laying down an f-bomb just felt out of place. Without giving away any spoilers, I can say that the story ended without much consequence or real resolution. 

While this book didn’t work for me, I think that readers who enjoy escaping or travelling vicariously through a book will enjoy the descriptive prose about the rugged beauty of the Amalfi Coast and all of its sights, sounds, smells, and tastes. Reading this book did reignite my desire to go back to Italy. 

Thank you to Simon & Schuster for the complimentary NetGalley copy in exchange for an honest review!

Book Review: Good Mom On Paper edited by Stacey May Fowles and Jen Sookfong Lee

By Christa Sampson

It is said time and again that writers should “write the book they want (or need) to read.” That is precisely what editors Stacey May Fowles and Jen Sookfong Lee set out to do with Good Mom on Paper. Both writers and mothers themselves, Fowles and Lee became frustrated with the publishing and creative landscape with respect to the lack of support and understanding of mothers, and the experience of trying to make art in the midst of motherhood. They put together an anthology of essays by a diverse group of Canadian writers, highlighting the push and pull of writing while mothering. Each writer’s life experience and writing style is different, but the common theme throughout all of their stories is the struggle to find, maintain, and nurture a creative life, while at the same time nurture and raise a family. 

As a writer and mother myself I was eager to read this book, and my expectations were exceeded. Some of the essays broke my heart. Some of them made me smile. Some of them gave me hope that there is a way to forge a path in this space. Some of the writing I’ve done I wouldn’t have been able to do without being a mother; other times I feel that the pressure of family life stifles my creativity. This is a book I could have used at the beginning of motherhood, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is at that point right now. Even mothers who aren’t writers or creators would benefit from reading this book, because we all lose a sense of ourselves when we become mothers. Sometimes the possibility of getting that pre-mom self back isn’t possible, and maybe it shouldn’t be, but you can still find yourself within the role of motherhood. They don’t have to be separate and can even complement each other.    

All of the essays in this anthology captivated me. The stories that really stood out to me, or rather the ones I could most relate to are:

“Dog Rescue Romance Novels and Other Survival Tools” by Jennifer Whiteford, in which she discovers the joy of reading romance novels while trying to get pregnant. After becoming a mother and not finding the ability to write in the manner she was used to, Whiteford continues reading romance novel after romance novel, until she writes one herself. This piece highlights the fact that mothers and society often brush off the emotional labour of mothering as “no big deal,” similar to how novels in this genre are often dubbed “just a romance novel.”

“What Have You Done Today?” By Kellee Ngan, about finding the small moments to write and recognizing that all of the small moments eventually add up to something bigger.

“Tantrum Series” by Teresa Wong, about letting go of the perpetual mom guilt and realizing that in the midst of motherhood, what you create may not be “good” but the act of creating, whatever the result, is progress and feeds your desire to create.

Thank you to Book*hug Press for the complimentary copy of Good Mom on Paper in exchange for an honest review!

Book Review: Coming Undone by Terri White

By Christa Sampson

Content warning: addiction, self harm, child physical and sexual abuse, suicidal ideation

Terri White is a writer and magazine editor from the UK. Coming Undone is her memoir detailing a very difficult childhood, which she tries to leave behind by building a career that will catapult her into a new life. After working her way up the ranks in London, White eventually lands a dream job with a major magazine in New York. Here, she assumes her life will finally turn around. Unfortunately, the exact opposite happens. All of the trauma White experienced during her formative years, which she never had the opportunity to properly deal with, comes flooding back at a time when she is the most vulnerable she has possibly ever been. 

I enjoy reading memoir, especially when the author is already a writer. White takes this memoir to another level because it reads like fiction. The harsh realities of an abusive and lonely childhood and the difficulties she continued to face into adulthood are written with such realness that you can’t help but be immersed. I was myself, but I found that despite the exceptional writing, the subject matter made it a difficult read and one that you have to be prepared for. As noted at the beginning of this review, there are various content warnings for this text, so it’s definitely not for everyone. It is a gritty read, similar to Wild by Cheryl Strayed, so if you’re a fan of that book, Coming Undone may be a good one for you to pick up. I’m not one to shy away from a difficult read, but as is the case with this book, the subject matter takes a toll on your emotions. For that reason, this is not a book that, in my opinion, can be quickly read or easily absorbed.

Throughout the book, White unapologetically describes her struggle with addiction in such a way that puts the reader in a place of being able to understand it, even if they can’t identify with it. Each chapter weighed heavy on my heart, and I just kept wondering: how is she going to recover? Most of her problems with addiction take place in New York City, a place where she thought she’d make a real name for herself.  While she excelled professionally, the city was a drain on her personal life. New York became a secondary character, and White’s metaphorical adversary. There is a constant push and pull between White and the toll that living in New York takes on her. This is a very unique perspective; every other time I’ve read or watched something that takes place in New York, the city is romanticized. If you’re looking for that in this memoir, you won’t find it. 

For me, the ending of the story is a bit abrupt. Personally, I was expecting everything to be tied up neatly, but in retrospect I don’t think that’s what White was trying to achieve in writing this memoir. The poetic imagery of the ending is superb, and I assume the conclusion was more about White figuring out where she needed to be in a big picture sort of way, and not homing in on one aspect of her life. Overall, this is a beautifully crafted memoir. The subject matter may be hard but pushing your reading boundaries can sometimes yield an unexpected reward.

Thank you to PGC Books for the complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review!

Book Review: Sari, Not Sari by Sonya Singh

By Christa Sampson

In this debut rom-com novel by Sonya Singh, readers are taken on a journey of self-discovery, letting go, and leaning into personal truth.

Main character Manny Dogra is a successful businesswoman who runs an internet-based break-up company. If people can meet their significant others online, why not break up with them in a similar way? Of course, the premise is to facilitate the process amicably. Manny herself is in a committed relationship, but despite her life seeming perfect on all levels, she feels that a big part of her true self is missing: her South Asian heritage. Her Indian immigrant parents raised Manny with the staples of an all-American lifestyle and without any of the culture or family traditions they grew up with. Enter a new client with an off-the-menu request that provides Manny with the opportunity to fill in the gaps in her personal heritage. While attending her first Indian family wedding, Manny is introduced to an eclectic cast of characters that will provide many humorous anecdotes for the reader.  

All readers will be able to relate to Manny’s journey and inherent need to find her true self. The intricacies of both family and romantic relationships are examined, including the problems that arise when you try to fit yourself into a mold that isn’t for the right reasons or isn’t right for you. Many of the supporting characters in this novel steal the show and help break Manny out of her protective shell. There were a few instances where the main character could have shown more agency and acted “in the moment,” rather than ruminating on what happened in the past. The ending of the story felt a little rushed and would have been better served with an active scene as opposed to a summary of the final events, but it will definitely leave the reader smiling. Overall, Sari Not Sari is a feel-good read, exploring very relatable themes within a unique premise.  

Thank you to Simon & Schuster for the complimentary advance digital copy of Sari Not Sari in exchange for an honest review.

Book Review: Rebound by Perry King

By Christa Sampson

At the beginning of the pandemic, everyone was forced to take stock of how they lived, worked, and played. During this time, Toronto-based writer Perry King ruminated over the loss of opportunity for people, and especially youth, to continue to participate in sports. Throughout the pandemic it has become shockingly evident that in addition to healthcare and housing, vulnerable communities have less funding and access to sports facilities and programs. Too often, outdoor public spaces like basketball courts were found to be in disrepair and were frequently closed with lockdown restrictions. This created a huge void in an already fragile environment.   

In Rebound, King starts by asking the question “why do sports even matter?” He goes on to answer it while taking a close look at various sports communities in terms of access, inclusivity, funding, and the trajectory of the athletes who play each sport.  

Perry King makes the case that sport should not be considered just a childhood pastime but should form the foundation of regular physical activity from childhood into adulthood. It has been proven time and again that organized sport teaches kids valuable lessons that extend beyond the court, rink, or playing field. The pandemic took those opportunities to play away, and some communities are at risk of losing them altogether. King examines how society needs to shift to accommodate sport and make it accessible for everyone at all levels of play. This is extremely important at the community level because it helps foster a sense of belonging for newcomers.  

King describes his own childhood experience playing basketball at his neighbourhood community centre and later recounts interviews with various national and international sports figures (Kobe Bryant and Karl Subban to name two) who share their philosophies on the act of participating in sport. There are chapters on sports that are not considered mainstream sports in Canada, such as cricket, rugby, and Muay Thai; although perhaps not mainstream, all of the above have huge followings. King highlights the importance of inclusivity as the common thread to increase the participation and retention of kids in sport. 

Rebound reads like a literary documentary. Each chapter discusses different sports or sports-related topics, but King makes seamless connections between them, showing that sports and cultural identity are intertwined in myriad ways, and we need sports not only to thrive, but to survive. This book is not only for those who play; there are many takeaways in the pages of Rebound that are both informational and inspiring. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.  

Thank you to Coach House Books for the complimentary copy of Rebound in exchange for an honest review. 

Book Review: The Storyteller by Dave Grohl

By Christa Sampson

Long before Dave Grohl became part of Nirvana—one of the most revolutionary and popular rock bands of all time—he was just a kid from Virginia learning anything and everything about music as he tried to find his place in the world. Fast forward to the mid-1990s when Grohl created new music and formed the Foo Fighters, one of the most successful touring rock bands in the world. In The Storyteller, Dave Grohl brings readers along on his life journey, connecting a series of experiences that inspired him to pursue music and created the opportunity for a life beyond his imagination.

If you’re a fan of Nirvana, the Foo Fighters, or both, you know that Dave Grohl can write amazing rock songs. You may not know that he is a talented writer—full stop. When the pandemic hit in March 2020, Grohl, like many touring musicians, was left with a whole lot of nothing to do. But the creative brain must create at all costs. So, instead of writing songs, Dave Grohl decided to… write. It began as an Instagram account with the handle @davestruestories, but  instead of pictures, readers would swipe through his personal essays. The stories were engaging and oftentimes laugh out loud funny. After reading a few of these posts, I thought to myself: I bet Dave Grohl is writing a book. A few months later, the book was announced. During this time, Dave also penned a couple of articles for renowned publication The Atlantic, both of which are fantastic, and I encourage you to read those as well.

If you follow Grohl’s widely popular Instagram account, you may recognize a few of the anecdotes; however, The Storyteller is not by any means repetitive of that material. This book takes a far deeper dive into various experiences, life lessons, and personal reflection over a life lived on the road. Some people have the unique ability to write in a voice that is so authentically themselves that you don’t need an audiobook to hear the words they are speaking.  Dave Grohl is one of those people. This memoir is a captivating read; real and unfiltered.  

If you’re looking for a juicy tell-all about the rise and fall of Nirvana, this is definitely not it. As Grohl writes in the book: “[he] is a fan too”. Throughout the stories, Dave meets and becomes friends with many of his own musical heroes. There is an equal number of stories about being in a band as there are about Dave Grohl’s life off stage. He’s a devoted family man, a fiercely loyal friend, and has often been called the nicest guy in rock. 

Even if you aren’t a die-hard Foo Fighters fan, I highly recommend giving The Storyteller a read. Even though  I am a fan, this is one of the best memoirs I’ve read.