By Christa Sampson
It is said time and again that writers should “write the book they want (or need) to read.” That is precisely what editors Stacey May Fowles and Jen Sookfong Lee set out to do with Good Mom on Paper. Both writers and mothers themselves, Fowles and Lee became frustrated with the publishing and creative landscape with respect to the lack of support and understanding of mothers, and the experience of trying to make art in the midst of motherhood. They put together an anthology of essays by a diverse group of Canadian writers, highlighting the push and pull of writing while mothering. Each writer’s life experience and writing style is different, but the common theme throughout all of their stories is the struggle to find, maintain, and nurture a creative life, while at the same time nurture and raise a family.
As a writer and mother myself I was eager to read this book, and my expectations were exceeded. Some of the essays broke my heart. Some of them made me smile. Some of them gave me hope that there is a way to forge a path in this space. Some of the writing I’ve done I wouldn’t have been able to do without being a mother; other times I feel that the pressure of family life stifles my creativity. This is a book I could have used at the beginning of motherhood, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is at that point right now. Even mothers who aren’t writers or creators would benefit from reading this book, because we all lose a sense of ourselves when we become mothers. Sometimes the possibility of getting that pre-mom self back isn’t possible, and maybe it shouldn’t be, but you can still find yourself within the role of motherhood. They don’t have to be separate and can even complement each other.
All of the essays in this anthology captivated me. The stories that really stood out to me, or rather the ones I could most relate to are:
“Dog Rescue Romance Novels and Other Survival Tools” by Jennifer Whiteford, in which she discovers the joy of reading romance novels while trying to get pregnant. After becoming a mother and not finding the ability to write in the manner she was used to, Whiteford continues reading romance novel after romance novel, until she writes one herself. This piece highlights the fact that mothers and society often brush off the emotional labour of mothering as “no big deal,” similar to how novels in this genre are often dubbed “just a romance novel.”
“What Have You Done Today?” By Kellee Ngan, about finding the small moments to write and recognizing that all of the small moments eventually add up to something bigger.
“Tantrum Series” by Teresa Wong, about letting go of the perpetual mom guilt and realizing that in the midst of motherhood, what you create may not be “good” but the act of creating, whatever the result, is progress and feeds your desire to create.
Thank you to Book*hug Press for the complimentary copy of Good Mom on Paper in exchange for an honest review!